Sunset Sees

Some decisions in life look like quitting from the outside.

Sometimes, they’re actually decisions to choose a different kind of difficulty.

Yes, as adults, we’ve probably all come to know that anything can be hard in life. That’s why people often say, “You should just stick things through.”

But personally, I prefer to choose what kind of difficulty I’m going to stick through with.

I’ve made a lot of decisions like this over the years—walking away from things that looked successful on paper because they weren’t working for the life I actually wanted. This is one of those stories.

For yer entertainment—

In the year 2013, I was enjoying what felt easy to me: coordinating talents, event producers, and top-of-the-line event promoters at Tara nightclub in La Roma, Mexico City. A girlfriend told me I had the dream job.

I was surrounded by models and celebrities all the time, and I even got an invite from the director of a top Latin American network to come in and do a tryout to be a TV host—and honestly, I couldn’t have cared less.

I actually landed this coordinator job on a spur of the moment when the Shark Documentary project I went to Mexico City for didn’t fall through. I was also there working toward my PADI diving certification for the project. After a few months of waiting for things to align, I was in dire need of cash flow.

I was on a very serious path to becoming a Producer. All the doors were opening for me. I had big-shot dreams, and skills, mind you.

But once I was there, I realized that although there are good times and great people, there are also a lot of negatives.

First of all, it’s a man’s world. Almost every move required some ass-kissing I wasn’t willing to supply. Secondly, exposure to drugs and alcohol is prevalent at any given time and day, and in abundance. But thirdly, and most importantly, I noticed how much of a workaholic I can be. Working obsessively around 16 hours daily, many times more. This kept me away from my daughter in seasons. I did not like that, and it would quite literally depress me.

It was becoming more and more difficult for me to be a good friend, to pay attention to details, to be truly present for anything other than work, to manage it all. 

I had to make changes. 

And my heart goes out to people who battle with creating new habits and letting go of bad ones because I’ve gone through the complexities of pursuing a reset for transformation, to fine-tune my spirit, for an embarrassingly lengthy period of time. It’s not easy bringing down the tempo. I strayed many times, falling back to ground zero.

Even to this day, I have to remind myself to be good to myself, to eat right, to keep my balance of time for health and family. It’s been gradual growth.

We need to continuously return to what brings us back to calm.

For example, one of my go-tos is a cozy restroom for luxurious self-care sessions. There’s something about a beautiful space and relaxing music that allows me to slow down and breathe. I’ve created an inspirational interior design board for an ideal cozy restroom, which you can  visit here.

So yes, I’m both a winner and a quitter, but on my own terms. I like that about myself.

And how about you? Are you a quitter too? What have you quit that you are proud of?

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*Designs featured in this post are my own.